January 6, 2026
There were many exceptional qualities in Tom’s personality that earned my respect and admiration. His impressive leadership and wisdom quickly won my respect. He always supported me and never sought personal recognition.
Wrong First Impressions
When I met Tom, he had just retired from a long and distinguished career with the DEA. Having worked in government myself, I was familiar with former officials transitioning to private life. Most of them were empty suits: highly political, credit-seeking, and focused only on gaining recognition and money to supplement their government retirement. I could not have been more wrong about Tom. He proved to be genuine, honest, non-political, and quickly became a mentor and a friend who cared about both my professional and personal well-being until his passing.
For reasons unknown to me, Tom never addressed me by my given name, instead referring to me as “Doctor Marlin.” To this day, the origin of this title remains unclear; however, considering Tom’s character, I believe it was his way of showing respect and care.
Tom was also a master at making those around him feel valued and heard. As I spent more time with him, I came to appreciate the depth and authenticity he brought to every interaction. He never boasted about his many accomplishments or sought attention; instead, he let his actions and integrity speak for themselves. His openness and support created an environment where everyone felt valued and motivated to do their best.
He had the ability to defuse tense situations with a well-placed joke or a thoughtful perspective. His guidance extended beyond work, often offering personal advice that was both practical and heartfelt.
“Cash-isms”
Tom was a masterful and humorous storyteller, known for conveying profound messages through simple yet memorable phrases. When I first met him, I often found myself trying to decipher the meaning behind his expressions. Over time, they resonated deeply with me, and I often found myself quoting them without realizing it. These phrases were more than sayings; they carried real-life experience, humor, and wisdom without judgment. They often helped me objectively understand situations and what needed to be done.
I purposely omitted some quotes I considered too personal or graphic, but I still find them amusing and laugh when I recall them. Here are a few that continue to resonate with me:
Resilience and collaboration: “Let’s be mobile, agile and hostile!”
Focus on the bottom line: “It’s not the money, IT’S THE F***ING MONEY!”
Keep it simple: “A giraffe was a horse created by a government committee.”
Don’t be discouraged: “Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.”
Collect what is owed / convert new opportunities: “Let’s get those children off the street!”
Agreement and progress: “You’re preaching to the choir.”
Perception from experience: “Where you stand depends on where you sit.”
Be a leader, not a follower: “If you are not the leading horse, your vision of the world will always be the same.”
I am grateful to have known Tom and feel blessed by his guidance and friendship. His quotes still guide me today. When I last spoke with him before Christmas, he ended our call as always, with a warm and caring “Love you.” I can’t think of a better farewell from my dear friend and mentor.
